Post Date December, 03 2023
He is recognized as a good man by the unit, honest, good-tempered, and proactive in his work. I am a single woman, the treasure of my family. I have a car and a house, and my monthly income is 8000 yuan. My husband has nothing, 2000 yuan per month, and he also lives with my parents after marriage. I just liked him for being honest and not taking any trouble.
We are both 27 years old. We got married when we found out we were pregnant. We offered drinks to treat us, but we never got a marriage certificate. The reason is that the baby lost more than 40 days after the good day of September 9. In the eyes of others, if we put on wine, we will be husband and wife. After marriage, I will still provide for the house alone, and I will keep the car. I won't even pay for food, and his 2000 yuan salary will be used to buy stocks. In September, I found out that he and the woman were posting pornographic images, and I warned him. He also wrote a guarantee that this would not happen in the future.
After the holiday, I found a chat record of him and his female friends going to a hotel to open a room on his phone: he said not to go to a hotel to open a room. He was too tired and nervous that day and didn't make it. Are you very disappointed. The woman's answer is very disappointed. I really can't accept seeing this.
I chatted with the woman as my husband and confirmed the content of the text message. Later on, when I identified myself, the woman quickly apologized, saying that they took what they needed and had sex without love. My husband is looking for excitement, but I usually don't take the initiative. He likes to take the initiative. Call her a useless person and tell me not to be sad. This woman promised me not to tell her husband about what I discovered about them. The next day, my husband should have discovered our chat records, but he didn't take the initiative to explain. I took it as if nothing had happened and wanted to see how he behaved.
Now I don't know what to do, is it to leave him? But when we invite people from the same unit to drink, we are still from the same unit. How can we continue our work in the future and what do the unit leaders think? I'm not willing to leave because he wasn't my ideal partner at the time. He was just pregnant and rushed to do it. Although he didn't have the money, he was honest, but he tried to open a house with someone else for the sake of excitement. I think even the only advantage was erased. What should I do and persist?
reply:
Firstly, I would like to help you correct that before you obtain the certificate, for you two, marriage can only be in name, and setting up a banquet is just a ritual, so your marriage is not protected by law.
From your description, it can be seen that you have no love for your "husband" at all, which means that you do not love this man at all in your bones. You are just "married with a son", and now the children no longer exist. Since that's the case, do you think it's necessary to continue? Don't you think he's just a hypocritical scumbag? You took a look at it yourself. From this perspective alone, you and him should have ended, and there shouldn't even be a beginning.
I'm not sure why a woman like you, who is excellent both in her family and herself, would be willing to come with her. Since she doesn't like others at all, why would she even want to make her belly bigger with them? Just because this man is honest and kind? Now you understand, as it turns out, he is only outwardly honest and inwardly not kind. And not voluntarily admitting his mistake to you indicates that he has no remorse.
Now that he has committed the act of betraying you, and his only advantage no longer exists, what else do you have that you cannot let go of and cannot part with? In my opinion, although your "husband" attempted to have a relationship with another woman, this cannot be an excuse for him to ask you to forgive him. It's like a person trying to kill you, but for various reasons they don't succeed, and then they say they're sorry, can you forgive them?
I think it's the best time for you to leave him now. You don't have to worry or be embarrassed at all, because: firstly, you don't have much relationship with him, and you have to "get married" out of necessity. This is the most fundamental problem. If a marriage doesn't have love as the foundation, sooner or later problems will arise. Long pain is better than short pain, so it's better to make a decision early; Second, when it comes to marriage, in fact, you just held a banquet ceremony and did not receive a legally recognized marriage certificate. Now you are free, and at most it is a cohabitation relationship. He can find a woman to open a house at will, or you can turn around and leave him, and no one can interfere with anyone; Thirdly, it is your "husband" who betrayed your feelings. He was wrong first and did not cherish your feelings. Due to his reasons, it is natural for you to propose a divorce, and it is not you who will lose face.
