Qin and Ming have been together for almost ten years from elementary school to college, from friends to lovers, but after less than a year of marriage, they feel disharmony. They are not satisfied with their current sexual status. Li said that Yong is gentle, considerate, and performs well, but the duration is not long; Ming said that his wife is very considerate of him, because he cannot make his wife more satisfied.
What exactly is the reason? Originally, Qin and Ming had sexual intercourse before marriage. At that time, they were afraid of being discovered, so they always made quick decisions. Over time, it became a habit, and after marriage, they couldn't change this habit.
Analysis: This is not a sexual physiological problem, but a typical sexual psychological problem. The traditional emphasis on avoiding premarital sex is only from the requirements and explanations of morality and chastity. In fact, the harm of premarital sex is equally serious for boys and girls. The occurrence of premarital sex, if pregnant, has a great impact on girls, if not pregnant, has a great psychological harm to boys.
Because when premarital sex occurs, especially when men are nervous and afraid of being discovered, they should complete it as soon as possible psychologically. Over time, men will develop a "complete as soon as possible" sexual psychological reflex in their brains. So even if we get married, this already formed conditioned reflex still exists.
Expert advice
1. After both parties understand the cause of sexual dysfunction caused by premarital sex from the perspective of sexual psychology, they should consciously start from reducing the frequency of husband and wife's life, and get rid of the unhealthy sexual psychological model established previously. 2. When creating a new sexual psychological model, couples start as lovers and first love lovers, review their love history, and explore the path of love. Then, in a safe and warm family atmosphere, both parties start from scratch and fully enjoy the beauty of life. 3. Wives should dress themselves up meticulously like when in love, fully mobilizing and nurturing their husband's freshness towards themselves. 4. In future marital life, the wife should intentionally maintain a sense of distance from her husband, and should not "respond to every request", allowing the husband to continue to strengthen new sexual psychological and physiological signals.
(Intern Editor: Cai Junyi)