Post Date December, 03 2023
My husband and I were born in 1980, and our parents were both rural people, and we were young people who needed to rely on our own efforts. We met by chance in 2000. Maybe it was the same type of person. I felt that the impression was good, and then we fell in love. In 2002, he was seriously injured in a car accident in his friend's car. He didn't call the police because his friend said that they had to pay for medical treatment to cure their health. But his friend didn't show loyalty. After we went to the hospital, they avoided it and ignored it. He wanted to give up treatment and die with them. I accompanied him to take care of him and enlighten him every day. After more than a year, he gradually recovered, but his shoulder injury was too serious, and he could not lift up after being disabled.
We got married in 2004 and had a son. We have always loved each other. We are the model husband and wife in the eyes of all relatives and friends. I have handled the family relationship with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law very well. He is also very good to my family. I feel very lucky and happy! We have been doing some small business.
Five years ago, he returned to his hometown and was elected as the village director. In 2013, he had an opportunity to study again. He went out of work to study and came back to work in the countryside. After discussion, I went to study. It was more than 200 kilometers away from home. I went home almost once a month. Sometimes he would go to school to see me, because there was business to run at home. When I was busy, I would ask for leave to go home to help. Although it was hard, I always felt very good and happy.
In the second half of 2014, I began to suffer from insomnia, allergies, and poor health. I don't know why. It was the sixth sense. I always felt as if there was something wrong, and I felt that he was not as good to me as before. But I believed in him, believed in our feelings, and might think more but didn't say more.
On my birthday in 2015, my relatives picked me up to play there. The day before yesterday, he and a leader agreed to talk about things that day. He said he would talk and ask me to play at my relatives' home. He would come to dinner with me in the evening and stay at the hotel in the evening. I called him at lunch. He said that he drank too much and slept in the hotel. After dinner in the evening, I went to the hotel with him. Then I found that he was cheating. After asking him, he admitted that he was attracted to her. They had been together for half a year, Now it is clear that she broke up (he told me that she was born in 1993 and was a foreigner. She works in the business hall of our mobile company. Because I knew her at home, he felt sorry for me. They made it clear that she resigned and left). Although I was very angry, I talked with him a lot, and I also called the girl and said a lot. She also promised me to leave us and leave him. I can't let go of our feelings, I can't leave my family, my child, or him. I know he also wants to save our feelings. After weighing, I choose to give him a chance to give myself. As long as he can change his mind and stop looking for her, I forgive him.
However, I didn't expect that he promised me to have a good life, and he still fell in love with her behind my back. Later, I found many times, quarreled many times, communicated and talked many times, and stayed awake all night. I felt too tired, I couldn't accept it, and I was going to collapse. He said that he was too emotional for her to let her go, but he also couldn't let me go. I asked him to choose between two. He said he would choose me, but now he still can't let her go.
I have a mental cleanliness habit, and I don't allow to share love, so it has been consumed until the Spring Festival. I think he is a person who wants face, and his family shame should not be publicized. I haven't told anyone that I can't help it, so I told my mother-in-law that he has always been a particularly filial person, and I want him to make a clear choice, either I or she, there is no one, only one, or I let go. My mother-in-law and everyone in the family scolded him and said that he did not want me. They both did not want him and did not recognize him. They all said that they would support me and help me persuade him to return.
It has been a full year and a half since I knew that he was cheating. He still can't let go. I'm still bitter and suspicious. I can feel his change, but I can't believe him any more. I can't let go of my feelings for him, but I can't help suspecting him. Teacher, please help me. What should I do?
reply:
At the beginning of your relationship, your husband once had his arm burned with disability due to an accident. You still chose not to abandon him, did not dislike him at all, and insisted on entering into marriage with him and giving him children. After marriage, you should try to take care of the family relationship and deal with the relationship between sister-in-law and daughter-in-law. You should have been very happy through mutual efforts. After all, you have also been in love, and are even model in the eyes of others. However, with the evolution of time and the change of the objective environment, your husband finally has a strange heart, betraying you and betraying his marriage.
In the face of your husband's change of heart and cheating, you should not just choose to forgive and accommodate, nor just immerse yourself in helplessness and pain, but should try to find the root cause of his cheating. The fuse between you may start from the time when you went off to study and study. Because you spent less time together, you lost company with each other, creating opportunities and possibilities for him to cheat.
In fact, how to say it? Men, such animals, are always ambitious and have distractions. It depends on the temptation of the outside world. Of course, the final step is the result of multiple factors. For example, your husband and wife get together less and leave more, for example, he has more opportunities to take advantage of, for example, he has gradually lost the moral bottom line, and so on, and finally let him slip into the abyss of derailment.
Since you are sentimental and can't stand his betrayal, you must make up your mind to make your husband pay for his behavior. You must make him pay a high cost for this, otherwise how can he repent? Your husband is very brazen. After you gave him a chance, and after he repeatedly cheated, he actually said that he had real feelings for others. Then let him go and have fun with that girl. Why don't you help him? Your husband is so naughty and shameless, you can't please him again and again. Haven't you made your clear attitude? Then you should definitely cash it.
For example, if he can't do it, or if he does it again after false repentance, then you can choose to divorce him and take practical actions. Even if you remarry when he sincerely repents after divorce, instead of taking this step, you can't expect him to achieve moral self-discipline. Now he has begun to indulge his behavior. Rather than live in suspicion and torture yourself every day, it is better to give him some color to see.
