Inexplicably, one becomes upset and easily loses temper, which may be something that office workers have experienced. When dealing with this kind of anger, people often behave differently. Some people find a way to vent their anger, while others choose to suppress this feeling of anger. What should they do when they feel angry about their uncontrollable bad temper in the workplace? Here are some tips for you!
Why do you have a hot temper and become a "stink tube"? How should you control it?
Firstly, let's understand the root cause of your irritability and becoming a "stink tube". Only when the cause is known can a more reasonable solution be found for treating the 'illness'. Some people may not have a bad temper in their daily lives, but in the workplace, they often feel irritable, angry, and even unable to resolve their anger. However, there are many reasons for this phenomenon. Let's see what kind of situation you are in.
1. Discontent with the current situation and dislike this job
Tip: Will giving up this job make you happy?
People who don't have jobs are busy in search of a job, while those who have jobs are not uncommon in their aversion to the workplace and are trapped in difficulties. Some people suffer greatly from not being able to find a job, while others suffer greatly from having a job. If this job is the root cause of your pain, why is it difficult to resign and leave?
But will quitting this job really make you happy? This question is worth pondering deeply.
The suggestion is that we should focus on "how to develop a liking for this job or how to stick to our job position". Don't shift your pain to the reason 'because this job is something I don't like'. Instead, efforts should be made to eliminate pain and then cultivate one's mind and character.
2. I can't get along with some people and I'm in conflict with you on principles
Tip: There is no absolute right or wrong in the world, and your principles may seem unreasonable to others.
Why are you angry? There must be someone whose words and actions make you unbearable, feeling that they have violated your bottom line. So, have you ever thought about whether these words and actions have caused everyone's anger? Not entirely. Some people find it difficult to accept, while others have no feelings. If you only consider your own position, his words and actions are indeed detestable.
For example, when Jewish people express their opinions on certain issues, their fellow Jewish friends believe it deeply, but the Christian friends next to them may not be very happy with it. Some policies announced by the President have caused people in some regions to shake their heads repeatedly, while others have applauded and praised them.
So, it's not someone's words and actions that ignite your anger, but rather the current position that gives you an illusion. That is to say, it's not that he made you angry, but that you became angry after hearing his words and observing his actions. Anger is because you think 'I was wrong to him', so anger is actually a reaction that arises when you are too attached to your own opinions or values.
My suggestion is to let go of the idea of 'I'm right' if you want to be angry. There is no absolute right or wrong in the world, and your principles may seem unreasonable to others. When getting angry, I need to know how to reflect on myself: I have become extreme again, and I believe that only myself is right. This is a form of cultivation.
3. The boss is too detestable, disappointed with him and hoping he pays attention to you at the same time
Tip: That's someone else's life, you don't have the right to interfere, just be good at yourself!
Ms. Liu, who works as a clerk in a foreign company, is 30 years old and often feels irritable and uneasy about how to get along with her female boss. She said, "The emotions of the female boss in the company change 24/7, she does things without rules, acts according to her own inclinations, never takes into account the feelings of others, and speaks harshly." But what really troubles her is, But it seems that the bigger problem lies with me. I have always hoped that she can recognize my abilities and pay attention to me. I can't even tolerate her paying attention to other colleagues. If I don't see her after work, I will think, 'Yes, she's just an ordinary person with no vision and wandering around all day. Instead, she's a pitiful person who needs me to admit and love!' Thinking like this, I seem to understand her irritability, but once I see her at the company She, I couldn't help but watch her eyes and actions, constantly making mistakes in a hurry! And then the mood got even worse
Let's analyze Ms. Liu's problem. Firstly, she believes that her boss has a problem and that it is not normal for her to act in front of her boss. In fact, she was wrong in thinking that her boss was a problematic person, and secondly, there was no need to worry about her boss's views. So, how can we solve Ms. Liu's problem?
Firstly, you need to remove colored glasses. You should know that no matter what the person says or does that makes you unbearable, it is just some words and actions.
In fact, feeling distressed and angry is simply because you are using your own values to measure whether others' lives are skewed. The consequence of doing so is not that she is torturing you, but that she is torturing herself. In fact, no matter what she says or does, it is her own life and it has nothing to do with you. You need to realize that your distressed and angry self is interfering with the lives of others.
Your son cannot grow up according to your expectations, let alone your boss?
Secondly, 'believe that everyone is a unique existence and should live a serious and focused life.' This sense of self-esteem can actually make you respect others, understand and accept them.
Believing that one's boss has a problem is actually a conclusion drawn from being obsessed with 'I hope'. Judging the world with one's own thoughts is an arrogant mentality.
If a person has a sense of arrogance, they will eventually move towards their opposite - lowliness. Just like those who are obsessed with power and those who despise it, but become humble when they encounter people with more power than themselves.
In fact, there is no distinction between good and bad in anything, and the condition for producing good and bad is due to comparison. And lowliness also stems from comparison.