Post Date December, 03 2023
Due to the different life experiences, family backgrounds, education, and troubles faced by girls, when we want to comfort them, we first need to understand what their troubles are.
Comfort her, listening is more important than speaking. A disheartened and restless heart requires the ears we listen to. Listening is to listen to the other person with both ears and heart, and remember one thing: never ask the reason for something that makes her uneasy, nor rush to make arbitrary ideas based on the current situation. Give the other person more space so that she can freely express her feelings.
The so-called heart to heart communication is to empathize with her and she will perceive the fluctuations in your heart. If our emotions towards her fluctuate together: like grieves his sadness, happy his happiness. For her who is lost, it is the best guide.
You need to fully accept her inner world. The biggest obstacle to comforting a girl often lies in her inability to understand, experience, or perceive the distress she feels. If you do not reach a certain level of understanding of her loss and troubles, she is easily resistant in the process of speaking and listening, and can't wait to put forward her own opinions. Therefore, you must acknowledge your biases and remember one thing: never use your own thinking to impose them on her thinking. If this happens, it will backfire. A famous psychologist once said, 'Let go of your own world and accept the world of others.'. From this, it is learned that the best way for us is to temporarily put aside our arbitrary thinking, enter the other person's inner world, and see her experiences with her eyes.
Another point is that you need to fully empathize and explore the path the other person has taken, understand the process of their struggle, and let them be understood by you, which is a kind of comfort. Comfort is not for her spiritual healing. In the process of comforting someone, any solution provided may fail or not be applicable, causing her to continue to feel depressed. Therefore, not intervening or giving opinions to identify with her troubles is the highest principle of comforting her.
Additionally, you can try taking a walk with the other person. The other party will feel safe and warm with your company. When her heart gradually calms down and she calmly faces her own experiences, she will sincerely thank you for your company and feel that she has come through it on her own strength. All comfort that relies on her strength is the best comfort.
Suggestions
Method 1: Listen. Listen carefully to what the other person said or didn't say, as well as the true meaning in the words. While listening, unconsciously engage in a conversation in your mind based on the current listening content, carefully considering what to say and how to respond to the other person's words.
Method 2: Make her feel that she should. For example, 'You should feel like...' or 'You shouldn't feel like...' Don't say what you should do. Remember to use cold reading techniques. Give them space to be themselves, think about their problems, and identify with their feelings. I must not handle her choices through 'agree or disagree'.
Method 3: Share her pain. You must empathize with her experiences. What you need to do is not only to share the pain of the other party, but also to endure the inner torment she brings to you (many people will lose their temper when comforted to a certain extent).
Method 4: Bravely say what you want to say to her
No matter what situation you are in, it's okay for her to have a deep understanding of how it feels to help her know you. We can say to her, 'I don't know how you really feel now, nor what you should say, but I really care about you, dear.' Even if we find this expression ridiculous, we can still let the other party know that you care about her very much. Put yourself in her shoes and take the initiative to help her. Some of her demands are bound to be unsaid. Put yourself in her shoes and consider the assistance she may need, even if you make her laugh, but you do make her feel that you are a very careful man.
The above are some techniques that the editor has compiled to soothe girls, hoping to bring help to your love life.
(Intern Editor: Liu Feifei)
